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What If

In a group I'm in we were talking about how "what if" can really hold us back from doing things we want to do. I joined the conversation, agreed with what we were all saying, gave encouragement. And then I was thinking about my own what ifs, and I realized something really big.

My what ifs do hold me back, but it's not only the potential bad things that could happen. I have a really huge, anxious reaction about the possible good things that might happen. Unpacked that a little more and found this big, loud voice saying that if I do have some success I won't be able to do it more than once or won't be able to sustain it. Lots of reasons about why those things are true.

So wow... is this a fear of success? Not exactly. It's a fear of not being able to be successful in an ongoing way. I have work to do, clearly, but this is really interesting, and it's very cool to have this new piece of information.

This work of growing and moving forward is ongoing, and if we stay open and pay attention we will always find new clues, yeah?


8 thoughts on “What If

  1. Estelle

    So true. I have the same fear of what if, not the bad that can happen, but the good, Will I be able to handle it? Will I able to sustain it? Basically just comes down to am I good enough or deserving enough I think. Hard to work through. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Kim

      Oh! I hadn't considered that it might be coming from a "not enough" place! More to think about. This one is going to take a lot of unraveling I think. Thank you!

  2. Susan Ivory

    Wow, just wow. I can't believe how much this speaks to me. The fear of being successful in an ongoing way, I have some things to think about.

  3. Effy

    One of the tricks I've learned is that when the what ifs start, and if they are leading me in a depressing direction (which they often can), I switch tracks to muse on what if good things happen. What if the best things happen? I start imagining best case scenarios insead of worst case, and I find it really effective.

    I can't always manage it, but when I can, it's a nice tool to have in the old brainmeats tool box. xo

    1. Kim

      I do that one sometimes, too. And then if the what ifs are too loud for that, I tell myself "so what, just do it anyway, just do one small bit." Different tools for different days. 🙂

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